TEXT RAGE: the disgusting form of bullying where, when any “relationship”/friendship/partnership ends, one side gets to completely insult and bag on the other side in repellant rapid-fire texts (often at least 10 in about 5-10 minutes), and then ends with “…and don’t ever contact me again” before the other side can even coherently and cogently reply.
Text rage is most common in people 30+. They don’t twitter, Facebook is a tool that is “for work purposes only/monitored by work”. The phone, therefore, is a perfect medium, because, even though it’s written evidence, you need a subpoena to get text records, whereas, you can print an email. Plus, you can insult so much faster with your thumbs. Apparently.
The record so far is 80+ violent, sexual fantasy-filled, profanity-laced, female-degrading texts over 6 angry hours. Think about an episode of “This is Your Life” written by Patrick Bateman in the style of “50 Shades of Grey”. Poor Ms. Banker. MB thinks she’s “a writer”. Watch out–she’s looking to add to her resume as an “online journalist” so that “she can get movie freebies”. Oh, MB. Please join the “glamorous life”. Bring your text-writing “talents”. Or, better yet, don’t. Back away from the T-Mobile thumb keyboard.
Frankly, the whole incident was unsettling. Still is. Texting shouldn’t take the place of a conversation. If you can’t say it in a face-to-face, why text it? Bullying over media is so 3 years ago. Being vulnerable and NOT sharing your feelings? So timeless.
Sadly, this is not about one date, but a disturbing trend that must be brought to light as a result of many dates. It’s this: Must our men (and possibly women) be re-trained in the art of “being and acting like gentlemen/grown-ups”, or, is our generation doomed to settle with this non-paying, “dunno”-acting, non-flirting, “you call the shots” sort of she-man of our future.
It used to be that a guy would grow out of this game-playing sort-of entitlement. Now, it seems, they’re not only not doing that, but also, not growing up, period.
This stage continues through the forties, even. Like a post-divorce entitlement stage (well, usually they’ve been divorced, and are diving into a “second bachelorhood”). I’m not sure where the entitlement complex is coming from, or who has encouraged them to act as though a 20-45 mix is an option.
Worse than agism, is a guy who can’t make decisions. They’re hot one day, cold the next. Every detail, including showing indicators of interest in a woman seems to be an uphill battle. They are interested, they just play the “I’m not telling you because I don’t want to get hurt” game. And then, they say, “I don’t have time for games in my life.” As though it’s the woman’s fault. Then, she feels like she’s trying too hard.
So, there was a time, a long time ago, when baddates were longer…when they weren’t always located at a bar. They were called “activity dates”, which meant that the date was self-paying, meet-ya-there style theme park, concert, event-style dates.
That meant that the date ratio was about 2,000:2, which made for exquisitely better odds than the baddates of today. The best thing you could do was to make a decent first impression.
One way to do this would be to wear clothes that fit. Oops, TTT, you just couldn’t manage to do that.
There is a serious amount of dirty-dogging going on right now in Dallas. I’m speaking of married men playing games with single ladies for their hearts and minds, for years, and not just for a baddate. They do it because of who they might be, or just because, hey, they can. Holy Crime City, Batman!
Let’s take HWT4Y. Someone with quite the clout in this still-unfair city. Getting bigger, as we speak, probably in front of some mirror app or from Siri’s words of personal congratulations, previously recorded, by him, onto his iPhone.
His professional successes are deserved, without a doubt. But, someone who is deceptive, personally, deserves to be put on blast NOT for a baddate, but rather, for bad form.
I really feel bad for ducking into the Loon tonight. I honestly couldn’t help myself. I was post-pedicure and post-eyebrow wax, and something dark and drinky was just too enticing.
I can’t go to the Olympics this year, opening directed by one Danny Boyle, famous of “Slumdog Millionaire” and “Millions” (guy likes a 7-figure title?). But, anyone who wants to send me there with an expense account and a first-class airfaire is free to do so. You know how to contact me.
Intially, this post was supposed to be about the scary exploits of “what’s going on in the dating world in Dallas right now.” Lemme tell you, the key word is GRIM. As always, I’m the neutral party. Well, maybe not so much. Lemme explain…
On this very coldish day in Dallas, Baddates is reminded of a very NOT cold day back a few months ago on a vacay when I took a colorful bite of the Apple this summer. Visiting fab friend of Baddates Jenny, LaceyB had posted a dare while in Brooklyn: get to know your city, and its occupants.
Anyone who has been to Brooklyn knows that someone like LaceyB would stick out like a sore thumb. And I had…all weekend long. In a good way. But dares do not go softly, or undone. Both of us were reasonably fresh out relationships (or maybe, one of us was still in one–I dunno?) So, here comes the dare…
BadDates’s friend Rooster sent in this marvelous story of his “Bad Date in Dallas” via the comment section. On the night before Unfair Park changes hands, I wanted to make sure to make good on my part that I would take kindly to the comment section and produce and promote the stories of others, specifically, to beef up our “Women Behaving Badly” section. Because, we do behave badly on dates. On occasion. And, whoa boy, this one woman, SHIC–she’s a doozy. Let’s give my man Rooster the floor…
“I present to you a date I had last week. I met her on a dating site, but probably should have vetted her a bit better before we went out. She has everything I’m looking for in a potential next wife: Read more
Sitting at the Quarter with a Crispin @ 10:30am is, all of a sudden, making me feel so…truthful. And nostalgic. For, it was right about this time in 2005 that I served as a bridesmaid in a
best friend ex-best friend’s wedding.
First of all, if you intend to stuff me into a cotton-candy pink dress with nail polish and a hairdo that matches 9 (!) other bridesmaids, well, you’re asking for it. But, hey, I went there. It was her day.
The problem was, she kept switching locations of where we were supposed to get ready without telling me, didn’t send directions, and had this wedding out in Southern California–an area I know–but just barely.
So, to avoid all the down time and nerves, I brought with me a copy of the current New York Times Best Seller, How to Make Love Like a Porn Star: A Cautionary Tale by Jenna Jameson.
I was asked to do a reading at the wedding, because, frankly, I think I was the only one of the bridesmaids who could read–or maybe it was my decent diction skills. Who knows?
Anyways, I had been promised maid-of-honor duties, and, as you can tell by the post title, I was more like “lady-in-waiting #5″. If the bride had been honest, I would have just sent her a blender. But, anyways. Read more
Online dating these days is nothing like it used to be. The paid dating sites–in order of easiest way to get a hookup–used to go, circa 2008: Yahoo! Dating, Match.com…(a few more)…eHarmony.com. This was partially determined by price per month, but also reputation.
Jump to 2011: There are probably hundreds of dating sites, many of them free. And, the more free they are, well, expect the standards to be well, more moral-free. Expect to get “invited to house parties”, for a guy to want the first date to be “watching a video”, or, for a “proposition over text” within the first 5 texts. It’s really not awesome.
The other night, I went on an “It’s Just Drinks” (formerly, It’s Just Lunch, if they were honest with consumers) date. They cost in the thousands, and have yet to prove THAT amazing, but, at least people still have common courtesy (and they do background checks, I think?).
So, there was friendly chemistry between me and new contact, BadDates Kelly. He had plenty to say about some of the bad girls of Dallas. Ready to hear it? Read more
OK, so I’ve been ignoring my blog. But, got quite the stuff for you BadDaters, including, but not limited to, a fall off the mechanical bull next-door pre-ride. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves.
This Cinco de Drinko, we started at MiCocina, which involved flirting with some semi-douche just to get the bartender’s attention for the 2nd round of Mambo Taxis. That took 20 min. I asked him, “Which important person would be throwing out the first pitch during the Yankees-Rangers opener tomorrow today?” His Reply: George Bush. Me: I said, “Important, not Interwebs.” Here’s the answer. After gulping down said drinks, we just left.
Next stop: Bull time. Read more