Text Rage: The New “Breakup” Method of the Post-30 Adult
This post was never going to happen, until both sexes thought it was a good idea to play phone attack. Then, frankly, this post HAD to happen.
TEXT RAGE: the disgusting form of bullying where, when any “relationship”/friendship/partnership ends, one side gets to completely insult and bag on the other side in repellant rapid-fire texts (often at least 10 in about 5-10 minutes), and then ends with “…and don’t ever contact me again” before the other side can even coherently and cogently reply.
Text rage is most common in people 30+. They don’t twitter, Facebook is a tool that is “for work purposes only/monitored by work”. The phone, therefore, is a perfect medium, because, even though it’s written evidence, you need a subpoena to get text records, whereas, you can print an email. Plus, you can insult so much faster with your thumbs. Apparently.
The record so far is 80+ violent, sexual fantasy-filled, profanity-laced, female-degrading texts over 6 angry hours. Think about an episode of “This is Your Life” written by Patrick Bateman in the style of “50 Shades of Grey”. Poor Ms. Banker. MB thinks she’s “a writer”. Watch out–she’s looking to add to her resume as an “online journalist” so that “she can get movie freebies”. Oh, MB. Please join the “glamorous life”. Bring your text-writing “talents”. Or, better yet, don’t. Back away from the T-Mobile thumb keyboard.
Frankly, the whole incident was unsettling. Still is. Texting shouldn’t take the place of a conversation. If you can’t say it in a face-to-face, why text it? Bullying over media is so 3 years ago. Being vulnerable and NOT sharing your feelings? So timeless.
Read more
Ricki Derek’s “A Merry Little Christmas Show”: Cheers!
If you’ve never seen Ricki Derek before, you should. This is the 4th year that he’s been doing his Christmas show. There’s even a family version, and a not-so-family version. Let’s go back, just as his clip does, and talk about his history with music and the Metroplex.
“It started as a ‘silly lounge act’ before Frank Sinatra died” recounted Derek, “but, when Sinatra passed, all of a sudden, there was an incredible amount of demand for his type of music.” He mainly played the Denton area, where he partnered with music director David Pierce, who helped to set the tone for the big band sound. It was important to Derek to bring the swing and the charm of Sinatra to the new generation, all while keeping the style in place for fans of the classics. For this, he’s brought in Matt Pence of Centromatic on drums. This is a real melding of local North Texas talent. He’ll also have guests for the show from Atlanta and New York (Melissa McMillan, who did vocals on his CD). It’s going to be a big show! Read more
Blood Brothers: The Ties That Bind
A film by Jonathon Leslie-Quam
Sometimes a movie, in this case, a documentary, just awakens raw and passionate feelings that really strikes a chord. It forces the viewer to remember some of the more tender moments, and what is held dear in this lifetime. It brings to mind how we define friendship, and the incredible ties that bring people together. “Blood Brothers”, a very real, raw, and tender documentary takes all of these moments, and faces them head on.
It’s the story of Jonathon Leslie-Quam and his adopted brother Chance Quam. Minutes into the film, the viewer is thrust into the subject that binds Jonathon and Chance: sexual abuse at the hands of foster children/adopted children within different homes, mere miles away from each other. Jonathon was born to a family that accepted adopted children, while Chance was a child of the foster system in scenic Wisconsin.
What makes this documentary-short so powerful is a number of things. The two men have such an extreme friendship developed out of surviving their childhood traumas. The way that they interract with one another shows a complexity that a “childhood” doesn’t have to stop at any age. Also, the beauty of the cinematography is worth attending the screening alone. Read more
The Top 6 Movies We Want to See This Holiday Season
It’s that time of year when the real gift arrives in the mail: “Entertainment Weekly’s” Holiday Movie Preview! The memories of planning the movie schedule are as vivid as decorating some silly tree, the smell of buttery popcorn as dear as the browning bird in the oven. Many holiday roll-outs are also the first chance to see Oscar-bait (the deadline for eligibility is to screen before December 25 in at least one U.S. theatre), a big reason why studios open smaller films on Christmas. While those films will always remain dear to this critic, we also anticipate a few of the larger films coming out between November and January. Picking a top five would be so square…so we picked six. To the movies!
1. “Lincoln”: With a script by Tony Kushner (Angels in America) that started at a staggering 500 pages, and a stunning-looking performance by Daniel Day-Lewis, this story of the last pivotal months in the life of our 16th president promises to be accurate, dramatic, and true to the words of Doris Kearns Goodwin’s Team of Rivals. If only Steven Spielberg could remake all important moments in American history (Nov.16th).
2. “Silver Linings Playbook”: Director David O. Russell’s dramedy about a bipolar Bradley Cooper trying to put back together the pieces of his life and what happens when he meets Jennifer Lawrence, who could be the equally-damaged-in-her-own-way love of his life. Relatable? You betcha, or so said this fall’s audience at the Toronto Film Festival, where it won the coveted Audience Award. If you’ve never experienced Russell’s first film, “Flirting with Disaster”, do not miss that crazy-amazing comedy as an “after-movie movie”. It’s one of the best movies…ever!
(Nov. 21st, “Flirting” is available on Netflix Instant or for purchase on various sites now).
3.“Dragon (Wu Xia)”: Nothing like a martial-arts murder mystery to fill the action and foreign components all at once for this holiday season. Featuring some of the best fight choreography since Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon by star Donnie Yen, the film follows an investigation into a double murder by a papermaker, whom the detective is convinced was once a gang member, now living peacefully years later. Any fan of Asian Film should be happily surprised. It was acquired before its screening at Cannes last year (Nov.30th).
4. “Zero Dark Thirty”: The new movie from Kathryn Bigelow and writer Mark Boal (Hurt Locker) follows Jessica Chastain (The Help) as a CIA analyst, along with Navy SEALS, and the successful hunt for Osama Bin Laden. Expect suspense, explosions, and pure drama ahead (Dec. 19th).
5. “West of Memphis”: The documentary that funded the re-opening of the case of the West Memphis Three, a group of teenagers (now men), who spent their lives in prison before being exonerated for the murders of three eight-year-old boys, this documentary explores details of the police investigation, as well as the decision for the Arkansas Supreme Court to overturn decades-long decisions. Fans of HBO’s “Paradise Lost” series, may feel a sense of closure. There’s also Henry Rollins (Dec. 25th).
6. “Django Unchained”: The newest film by Quentin Tarantino, an homage to both ending slavery and the spaghetti western…well, it’s just Quentin Tarantino. It’s also supposed to fit into a trilogy somewhere bookended by the impossibly awesome “Inglorious Basterds”. If you’re a fan, you’re a fan. Cinema details are never ignored, as is music choice. Christmas has never been so exciting! (Dec. 25th).
*All dates are configured for New York or limited releases. Please check theatres for times in your area to see what is playing and when.
*Any requests? I’ll see it, and post a review. Just leave a question/comment in the comments section–LaceyB
The Farmer and the Dell
It has been awhile since Baddates has been out. But, she finally did. It was a meetup for drinks and a chat, between a man and a woman, but NOT A DATE. Social drinking meetup late night. That’s what it was, nothing more.
Anyway, what was so great about it, for Baddates, anyway, was TFatD arrives absolutely drunk off his kiester. That means, he’s ready to talk. Practically foaming at the mouth, which is funny, because he said something about editing himself, but Baddates would NEVER, EVER want that. He ordered and paid for drinks, after being in the absolutely wrong location. Even though Baddates has stopped drinking, he insisted that we would both be drinking that night. Which was fine, because when he went to the bathroom, the bartender helped pour out half the beer and fill it with water! (Feel free to use this tipple-trick, by the way, when someone can’t get the hint when you say “no” to intoxicants.)
He went over how he used to own a restaurant in Amish Kansas (did they cook with or without electricity? Was that a sin?), then became a farmer, married the same woman twice, divorced her twice, and pays $2000 in child support per month, but that he’s almost done with that–just a few more years. Did he not know that he was having drinks with a dating columnist? It was worth trying to keep the relationship up to get more out of FatD. This was worth hearing more, more, more!
He’d get drunk again. He’d spill more, such as the fact that he’s dating multiple women at a time, because “They just can’t get enough.” There’s plenty to go around. Especially (his words) “The extra alcohol layer in front”. Read more
Film Review: “Magic Mike”: Stimulate Your Brain
Ahead of today’s uncut release (with dance sequences too hot for theaters!), it seems important to explain why the best of the city of Dallas seemed to go “hmm”, instead of “umm hmm” at the end of the “Magic Mike”. Without giving away (or shall we say, stripping down, the movie), let’s take a second look at what the movie is really about.
We’re introduced to Magic Mike (Channing Tatum, a former dancer), a construction worker by day, exotic dancer by night. He recruits other reasonably hunky men, including Adam (Alex Pettyfer), to be trained in the “exotic dancing arts”, in hopes of gaining part of a future franchise opened by club owner Dallas (a shady Matthew McConaughey). Little does Magic Mike know, he’s all part of a rather well-planned scheme of Dallas’s to continue the commerce, but not necessarily build a partnership. 
To its credit, “Magic Mike” rules the dance floor, delivering on its promise, but it does something else: it stimulates the brain, for those open to thinking about the feelings and situations of Mike. Read more
The Creatures from the High-Rise Lagoon
Sadly, this is not about one date, but a disturbing trend that must be brought to light as a result of many dates. It’s this: Must our men (and possibly women) be re-trained in the art of “being and acting like gentlemen/grown-ups”, or, is our generation doomed to settle with this non-paying, “dunno”-acting, non-flirting, “you call the shots” sort of she-man of our future.
It used to be that a guy would grow out of this game-playing sort-of entitlement. Now, it seems, they’re not only not doing that, but also, not growing up, period.
This stage continues through the forties, even. Like a post-divorce entitlement stage (well, usually they’ve been divorced, and are diving into a “second bachelorhood”). I’m not sure where the entitlement complex is coming from, or who has encouraged them to act as though a 20-45 mix is an option.
Worse than agism, is a guy who can’t make decisions. They’re hot one day, cold the next. Every detail, including showing indicators of interest in a woman seems to be an uphill battle. They are interested, they just play the “I’m not telling you because I don’t want to get hurt” game. And then, they say, “I don’t have time for games in my life.” As though it’s the woman’s fault. Then, she feels like she’s trying too hard.
She Rah! Don’t Miss “Wonder Women” at VideoFest 25!
Wonder Women! Sneak Peek from Vaquera Films on Vimeo.
After previewing a new sumptuous documentary on the comic Wonder Woman and the impact of feminism everywhere, “Wonder Women: The Untold Story of American Superheroines”, I got to thinking, aren’t we all superheroes in some way, shape, or form? Mind you, this message comes straight from this glorious documentary. I really can’t stress that I don’t want to give much away before its showing at Dallas VideoFest 25 at 8:45 pm on Saturday, September 29, 2012. But, this you should take away, female Dallas: You can (and probably already) do anything! It’s been going on for awhile. For me, it’s definitely a trend on baddates. For instance, I pick the restaurant, I open my own doors, I pick up my portion of the tab…sound familiar?
We’ve lived in a traditional, male-dominated society for all too long. Even as a blogger, I find myself usually the only female “faux journalist” in the room. It’s helped me get places, for sure. Being an “only”, however, means you have to be on your game, all the time, and sometimes, work twice as hard. Baddates sees that as a challenge that can be met. There’s a few male bloggers that will always ace me out, but most are not anything to worry about, competition-wise. It’s all about the talent, and who has the resources to get to the news the fastest. I’ll never be the fastest, but, I can be the more humorous, and among the well-known for the laid-back approach that I take to my writing. Gentlemen, hear me ROAR (on my blog)! Read more
Too Tight Tonight
So, there was a time, a long time ago, when baddates were longer…when they weren’t always located at a bar. They were called “activity dates”, which meant that the date was self-paying, meet-ya-there style theme park, concert, event-style dates.
That meant that the date ratio was about 2,000:2, which made for exquisitely better odds than the baddates of today. The best thing you could do was to make a decent first impression.
One way to do this would be to wear clothes that fit. Oops, TTT, you just couldn’t manage to do that.
Max’s Wine Dive: A Bubbly Pool of Surprises
Credit: Allison Slomowitz
Heading into Max’s Wine Dive on Wednesday Night held lots of surprises. Not only were they busy, but they were slammed. But, here’s the great part: they still had room for Baddates at the bar. Normally, you might think that this would be sub-par seating, but, swear, this was probably the best seat in the restaurant!
My waitress, Chelsea, not only knew her menu, but had suggestions. For a vegetarian! Dallas, listen up: that means that a restaurant knows that WE want to eat at a non-veg restaurant.
Get this: Max’s knows what to do when it comes to both the foodie (eat from Chef Patrick Russell’s select in-season menu), and the regular-Joe eater (choose from the right side–chicken-fried soul food and sides).
My eyes took a left, of course! Now, know the following: if your eyes go to the chef’s side, expect to pay more. This isn’t a bad thing. This menu is chosen specifically and created specifically FOR DALLAS. If you, foodie, are bristling at the fact that Max’s is a chain, know that the chef and sous-chef are from here and know their ingredients. In fact, Max’s stole their sous from the soon-to-be-shuttered Craft (that Top Chef guy’s restaurant below Ghostbar).
So, here’s what I had: Foie Gras sliders. Yes, I said sliders. Which means you get mini-burger sized patties of buttery, rich duck liver magic with a complex Concord grape ketchup. If it were appropriate, I would have licked the plate.
Too Much, The Magic Bus
This one, from Baddates friend Nikki, who just couldn’t get her baddate out of her mind. And, for good reason. If you recognize this as your baddate, feel free to chime in to our comments section. If I said this one is unique, I’d be lying. We don’t do that on this site.
Nikki was called by suitor TMtMB to go on a date. Imagine, her surprise, after getting all prettied-up, when a party-bus limo arrived to pick her up. What an amazing date in Dallas this would be. The driver opened the door, and she got in, only to see her suitor, and…five other prospective dates, all ready for a night of fun and romance.
Wait, what?
I’ve Got a Secret
This post from Baddates friend Smiley, who has been the first dame in Dallas that has been hard-pressed to come up with a baddate in her history. Finally, I was able to wrestle one out of her. This one’s a bit of a doozy. She’d been spending some time with IGAS over a summer quite a few summers ago (the dame is no “Dame” anymore–she’s a Lady now). Anyway, said “friend” seemed like a pretty great guy. They’d been going out. They’d done dinner, a movie, etc. He’d behaved well. She had no reason to think any other way about him. That was before they went swimming. Read more
“The Imposter”: Don’t You Want Somebody to Love?
As Baddates awaits possibly exciting news (with not nearly enough patience), we soldier on to bring our audience the movie reviews that they crave. And, to be honest, Baddates is filled with creative vibes this week. After seeing “The Imposter” last night at the Dallas Angelika last night, it has been hard to contain the enthusiasm that spurs on writing a review.
This is a truly special documentary, amongst many this summer. However, it takes a different turn (one of many), by presenting the anti-hero as the narrator. He walks you through the process, from inception of “becoming Nicholas Barclay”, to finding peace with the fact that the love that he is looking for may not be found in the place that he had suspected. To bring this home, it happened here in Texas (San Antonio), but still.
I think that “Nicholas Barclay” had no idea what it really meant to be Nicholas Barclay. Maybe that is the most fascinating part. Can anyone ever fully understand what it is like to be another person, missing or not? Read more
T/X at the Luxe Stoneleigh: Take a Bite
While indulging in my latest staycation at the (newly-branded) Luxe Stoneleigh (and this has happened a lot does this often, these days), Baddates friend Cody suggested that we try the ultra-new T/X for Restaurant week. Suffice to say, there was no argument on this side of the fine-dining table. Let’s dig into some culinary history, shall we?
Per our awesome waiter, Roberto, comes this information: “Current chef Cesar Gallegos was in Austin around 2007. Right around then, he met Chef David Bull. Bull convinced Gallegos to move to Dallas, and to start up and become executive chef at his new restaurant, Bolla, a conceptual Italian restaurant. However, customers didn’t take a liking to Bolla, or the fact that, for an Italian restaurant, there was no pasta, just supposed inherent Italian flavors. The new concept of T/X is more to the side of Tex-Mex flavors, but is still in development.”
This was all completely true. After being in the Stoneleigh for years, Bolla was suffering a lack of excitement in its choices. It looked like any other room service menu: hamburgers, sandwiches, etc–all overpriced. The Bolla Bar, a famed Uptown hangout for older men looking for younger women, as well as younger women, looking for an in-town sugar daddy. Let’s just say, the bar was beginning to show its age.
The good thing about Bolla was, and is, its breakfast. Even through Groupon, a generous allowance is given to enjoy a lovely, fresh breakfast. Our server, Casey, was very helpful. Ask to be in his section.
Now, back to T/X… Read more
He Who Took 4 Years
That clip speaks to certain illegal acts that have absolutely nothing to do with this column or posts herein. It is also about a woman, not a man (shocker!). Now that those grounds are established, it’s time that we have a serious conversation. Ready? This won’t take long. Promise.There is a serious amount of dirty-dogging going on right now in Dallas. I’m speaking of married men playing games with single ladies for their hearts and minds, for years, and not just for a baddate. They do it because of who they might be, or just because, hey, they can. Holy Crime City, Batman!
Let’s take HWT4Y. Someone with quite the clout in this still-unfair city. Getting bigger, as we speak, probably in front of some mirror app or from Siri’s words of personal congratulations, previously recorded, by him, onto his iPhone.
His professional successes are deserved, without a doubt. But, someone who is deceptive, personally, deserves to be put on blast NOT for a baddate, but rather, for bad form.
“Bernie” and The Blue-Haired Summer
If you’ve never seen “Bernie”, you need to. Yes, I said need. It might just be one of the best films of the year. It is definitely the reason that Jack Black needs to take TUMS before he acts, ever again. The guy’s got chops as a dramatic actor. He’s even got a singing voice, which you know, if you’ve ever heard of Tenacious D. In fact, it’s Tenacious all over the place with the gospel hits of the Statler Brothers, a band/show that I watched with my grandmother as a young teen. It is based off of a real article in “Texas Monthly” by Skip Hollandsworth, who co-wrote the screenplay with director Richard Linklater. This is the first Linklater film that I have enjoyed. And, I think it is to Hollandsworth’s credit. There’s a story. It isn’t too meandering. Everything feels small-town Texas, but in a good way.
And, in fact, if you do go to the Magnolia to see “Bernie”, you will find yourself in a sea of grandmothers and grandfathers. I dare say, it’s sorta like seeing your family, onscreen and off. So, to me, that’s a good thing–most of mine have passed. But, to you, maybe go on Saturday for the late show, where you will find the cult fans. I would be amiss to not put in this review that “Bernie” reminded me so much of “Waiting for Guffman”, or any of the truly wonderful “Guest trilogy” (Guffman, Best in Show, A Mighty Wind). Read more
Desperate-adoes
back in the good ‘ol days
I really feel bad for ducking into the Loon tonight. I honestly couldn’t help myself. I was post-pedicure and post-eyebrow wax, and something dark and drinky was just too enticing.
I can’t go to the Olympics this year, opening directed by one Danny Boyle, famous of “Slumdog Millionaire” and “Millions” (guy likes a 7-figure title?). But, anyone who wants to send me there with an expense account and a first-class airfaire is free to do so. You know how to contact me.
Intially, this post was supposed to be about the scary exploits of “what’s going on in the dating world in Dallas right now.” Lemme tell you, the key word is GRIM. As always, I’m the neutral party. Well, maybe not so much. Lemme explain…
2011 in review–late, but great!
The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2011 annual report for this blog.
Here’s an excerpt:
A New York City subway train holds 1,200 people. This blog was viewed about 3,700 times in 2011. If it were a NYC subway train, it would take about 3 trips to carry that many people.
“Goon”: The ONLY Movie You Need to See (For Now)
So, I caught a great movie OnDemand, “Goon” last night. It was so much fun to watch! When I love a movie, I just can’t be quiet about it. Let’s dive in!
So, based on the novel Goon: The True Story of an Unlikely Journey into Minor League Hockey by Adam Frattasio and Doug Smith, with Screenplay by Jay Baruchel and Evan Goldberg, this is one true and funny story. It also has even-handed directing by Michael Dowse, who never let’s the movie veer too much into sympathetic territory. Wow!
It starts out with Doug Glatt (Seann William Scott), a ne’er-do-well bulky bouncer, in a family of brainiacs, who just can’t seem to get it right. Until, he’s brought in by a minor league hockey coach with a failing team to start busting some ass on the ice.
This was when hockey was entertaining–more than some player getting winded. It’s exciting, in-your-face-style of gladiator go-get-’em, all being recorded by video blogger and best friend Ryan (Baruchel, also a producer of the film). Ryan provides most of the comic relief, talking an swearing about a mile a minute, but, it’s really funny stuff!
DIFF 3: You and Me–The Doc is In
So, I did some documentary previewing this weekend, and I was so excited. I love to be screening, so that I can see everything. But, ahead of that, I was really excited about Girl Model.
I can’t say much, except for, well, don’t get as excited as I did. It is original and honest, no doubt. But, it is also depressing. I was sad–hoping to write more on body issues on here, positively-skewed, per usual. Alas, not this time.
The same mood can be used for the Louisiana-set Direct Energy. Devastating stuff, that BP Spill. The problem is, the news kinda covered that. Sad then, sad still. Especially through those that experienced it on film. Skip it.
With any luck, the next batch will be better.
DIFF 3: You & Me: Let’s Talk About DIFF
So, as I get screeners in and out at a leisurely pace, I will be making unofficial recs (if I say “buy this/strongly recommended”, well, I’d do just that. If you hear nothing, the film is highly mediocre. If it’s bad, I can only say “skip it” until fest starts on April 12.) After that, recs will become official, and I can say more. Here’s what else you need to know…
DIFF 3: You and Me–What to Buy For, Day 1: WOLF
WOLF Trailer from Exodus Filmworks (Ya’Ke) on Vimeo.
So, now that I’m one amongst a cadre of blog pressers–YES!–it was YOU who got me here, loyal viewers. BIG THANKS! I am a little more restricted in what I can say and when I can say it. But, once the film premieres, oh yes, we will be talking. Read more
Bikini Season–The Race is On!
If you’re like me, anything “bikini” makes you want to “Quick! Run! Hide!” It also has inspired me to cut a lot of carbs out of my diet. Because, I can’t take those diet pills anymore. Herbals? No way! So, then, if you are like me, you are curious about the other medical routes you might be able to take.
But, beware, ladies (and gents). If you are about my age, you probably remember Fen-Phen. It started out as a drug for obesity. Then, it was recalled. Because it’s maker, Wyeth (then American Heath Products), started noticing heart valve problems and pulmonary hypertension.
The lawsuit was eventually settled for around $13 $22 billion. Today, I met an excellent lawyer, Kip Petroff of Petroff & Associates. He donated his time for a lecture at El Centro’s Paralegal Student Association. His firm does community service projects, in addition to this lecture.
Mean Green
Dollar Bills, y’all! What, and not go out on St. Patrick’s Day? Yeah…I’m so sure. Our waiters, waitresses, gay bingo-sters/stresses are working hard. Just as much are our cabs and limos, Dallas. This is not a day to be a CHEAP BASTARD. You better be tipping really hardcore. These ladies and gents are wearing green and need your green today. As RuPaul would say, “Don’t f*** it up!” Oh, and people, stop doing “the Robot”. It was as bad then as it is now, drunk or not.
And now, for a great green story that has nothing to do with St. Pat’s. God bless this guy.
5 Dating Tips from the Brains of Uptown Men
Five good, strong “drink & date” tips from the men of Uptown. One grad of SMU, the others, well, seemed to be doin’ fine without the pricey diploma.
1. The first date (meaning 2-4 drinks max is on the man). More, borderline “slut city”, if you are with the same guy. Take him in a “to-go-box” on the first date, and you are the greasy grossy leftovers in the morning that do not get a “call back”!
2. Bros before ho’s: If you intend to be “friends” with his buds, be friends on Facebook. And in passing. But being bed-friends with his besties after a breakup? Not OK, SMUSlutinksy. You know who YOU are. Pass it on. You want more??
You Big Baby!
I hate the town of Hurst. For two reasons. One, because a friend of mine got pulled over for “driving black”. His words, not mine. There may or may not have been other reasons involving said collaring, but, knowing Hurst, it was likely that they had more than numbers on their mind.
So, here’s the second reason I hate Hurst…
Spring Breakdown
Because it is Spring Break, I am just this side of relaxed, but I have one quibble: Why are there children in the bar district past 7pm?? You can call me an “Alkie”, but I am not allowed to question your parental abilities when you bring little Mikey or Molly (or both) for a glee-filled romp along McKinney Ave. around 9pm on a Wednesday night?
Empire State of Mind
On this very coldish day in Dallas, Baddates is reminded of a very NOT cold day back a few months ago on a vacay when I took a colorful bite of the Apple this summer. Visiting fab friend of Baddates Jenny, LaceyB had posted a dare while in Brooklyn: get to know your city, and its occupants.
Anyone who has been to Brooklyn knows that someone like LaceyB would stick out like a sore thumb. And I had…all weekend long. In a good way. But dares do not go softly, or undone. Both of us were reasonably fresh out relationships (or maybe, one of us was still in one–I dunno?) So, here comes the dare…
She Had It Comin’
BadDates’s friend Rooster sent in this marvelous story of his “Bad Date in Dallas” via the comment section. On the night before Unfair Park changes hands, I wanted to make sure to make good on my part that I would take kindly to the comment section and produce and promote the stories of others, specifically, to beef up our “Women Behaving Badly” section. Because, we do behave badly on dates. On occasion. And, whoa boy, this one woman, SHIC–she’s a doozy. Let’s give my man Rooster the floor…
“I present to you a date I had last week. I met her on a dating site, but probably should have vetted her a bit better before we went out. She has everything I’m looking for in a potential next wife: Read more
Don’t Copy Me
Here we are, back again with another baddateindallas. Admittedly, this one comes from Mesquite, considered by Dallas ladies as OTP (dating Outside the Perimeter of Dallas proper). Usually, OTP men are less primadonna-ish, have slightly less body image issue (although, weak/hurting knees seem to be a recurring issue), and tend to act more like, well, men.
Initially, the only thing wrong about DCM was that he bristled a bit when talking about his immediate family and that he was pretty damn shy–but, I’m not. Everyone has history, though. He worked in the family business, a large copier company in the Metroplex, and was set to inherit both the stress of owning and running the company. I’ve been in business before–that isn’t easy. But, I know I didn’t complain as much.
He also ran a household in Mesquite. Perhaps one of the most dirty, dusty, and disorganized houses I’ve ever been to. He had more photography equipment than I knew existed. But, he also had a path to them. “Hoarders”, anyone?
Love In A Puff: AFFD 2011 Day 1
Once again, it’s AFFD (Asian Film Festival of Dallas) Time! What better time of year to be at the cinema, seeing great action movies, romances, and thrillers, right? Right.
Take, for example, how much “AFFD Hearts You” (a new category this year). Their centerpiece screening, “Love in a Puff”, is nothing less than a smoking romantic comedy-drama. With all the banning of smoking in Dallas, it is easy to sympathize with the central argument of the film: When smoking becomes illegal inside and next to may public places, smokers unite to enjoy their nicotine fix together, and bond. (And Dallas, the idea is to GATHER and SMOKE, not to hide our habits and smoke in the car solo).
Enter Cherie (Miriam Yeung Chin Wah), a Sephora saleswoman, and Jimmy (Shawn Yue), our two lovers who meet in a “smoking den” amongst friends. Everything is innocent at first, until a fateful night out in gorgeous Hong Kong, where Cherie and Jimmy develop more of a bond, to humorous effect, with a multi-lingual cop. Check out the preview:
While Cherie has a boyfriend, her big eyes and bright smile indicate that there is hope for Jimmy. However, what’s so great about this light romance (and many Chinese films) is that love is expressed largely through jokes and words, rather than through steamy action. A simple hand-graze or longing stare can mean as much as a long kiss goodnight or sex scene in American cinema. Read more
Since I’ve Been Gone
OK, so it’s been a month. I just felt like this site had become a man-bashing place of unfairness. It was about bad dates, mine–all mine–but the advice part had fallen off the planet. So, here we go…here’s some real advice, and some validation for my male readers that no–you really aren’t horrible people. This site loves men! I want to hear “bad women dates in Dallas” stories to make it more on an even keel.
Although, I did date a guy who COULDN’T SPEAK ENGLISH! Really, now? I thought that was a given. And, I did date a guy who was so consumed by working out (and, he was a doughy-shaped guy), that dating would have derailed him from his 1,000/day push-up schedule. Really? Women don’t buy it. Read the article.
So, in the interest of fair play, I am offering up advice from a real expert. It can be taken both ways (it is for women looking for men, but, if you’re a dude, the message is the same in regards to women).
And, now, I am free from writer’s dating block. Baddatesindallas is covering the Asian Film Festival of Dallas this week, so stay tuned. We’re transitioning to cover a lot more films this year than bad dates (if I’m lucky).
Why Do You DART?
Well, a better question would be: “Why don’t you DART, Dallas?” I know, I know, life can’t be lived without my precious car. So. Not. True.
Oh, and gas is practically kissing the $4.00 mark/gallon. Smooch!
Plus, I sweat my ass off waiting for a bus that may or may not show, and comisserate with my fellow passengers, often older or teenage, and pick an ethnic group, or anyone from an ACTUAL CITY!
So, why is white Dallas severely underrepresented on DART? I think that we’re driving sissies, afraid of getting into conversations/seeming “low class” for riding, afraid of getting the real CITY feeling. Which is why we hide in our suburbs, don’t know our neighbors in our towers, and, basically, all of this explains the meaning of our quiet, sometimes-empty-seeming lives. (I’m white, btw.) Read more
Dallas: The Most Athletic City in the World!
Or, make that, THE UNIVERSE! Far back as I can recall–May, turns out–we ranked pretty high on this list, but, it didn’t have much to do with racing heartbeats. More like, racing to an early heart attack.
Come to find out, every single match made in my EHarmony profile ranks their personal habit of “being athletic 5-7 times/week” one of their “Top 3 Personality Traits”. Keep in mind, there are probably 30 or so choices of “Personality Traits”, including, but not limited to, “Kindness”, “Funny”, “Patient”, “Hard Working”, etc.
Really, what Dallas guy would want to advertise those traits, when you could brag about your “Rocky”-esque “Brawny Athleticism”?
Now, I’m the first to admit that I’m not a skinny bitch. I’m a curvy lady. But curvy is NOT equivalent to ridiculously overweight.
Those skinny straws have nothing on my awesome mental health, confidence, and humor about life. I’ve met ‘em. I’ve partied with them. They are scared (or scarred) little girls inside. Blech! In fact, last night, two SMUers were pinching their 5% body fat and lamenting that “All this horrific fat is keeping the men away.” I smized at them and said, “Oh, that’s definitely it!” The second they retreated to the bathroom, to cry and do coke, I just shook my head.
But, more to the point, if all the men of Dallas are logging in such punishing gym hours, and really desire ONLY an “average or athletic” women’s body type, who is it that’s creating the monstrous error and skewing the “fat city” data? Read more
The World’s Best Bridesmaid
Sitting at the Quarter with a Crispin @ 10:30am is, all of a sudden, making me feel so…truthful. And nostalgic. For, it was right about this time in 2005 that I served as a bridesmaid in a best friend ex-best friend’s wedding.
First of all, if you intend to stuff me into a cotton-candy pink dress with nail polish and a hairdo that matches 9 (!) other bridesmaids, well, you’re asking for it. But, hey, I went there. It was her day.
The problem was, she kept switching locations of where we were supposed to get ready without telling me, didn’t send directions, and had this wedding out in Southern California–an area I know–but just barely.
So, to avoid all the down time and nerves, I brought with me a copy of the current New York Times Best Seller, How to Make Love Like a Porn Star: A Cautionary Tale by Jenna Jameson.
I was asked to do a reading at the wedding, because, frankly, I think I was the only one of the bridesmaids who could read–or maybe it was my decent diction skills. Who knows?
Anyways, I had been promised maid-of-honor duties, and, as you can tell by the post title, I was more like “lady-in-waiting #5″. If the bride had been honest, I would have just sent her a blender. But, anyways. Read more
Business is Free, Right?
So, back to what I’m pretty good at, which is two things: going on bad dates and math tutoring. I know, who’da thunk, right? I’m actually really decent at teaching math–being a trained teacher. It’s a helluva thing, because I can go all the way to the college level for almost nothing, compared to what the Highland Park tutors get. I teach students who “want to learn”, as opposed to, ya know, selling my soul and teaching for peanuts in DISD.
So, I’m on this date with a rather high-in-his-game financial manager BIFR. He hears his phone ring, during our date at a rather upscale restaurant. Fine. But, he ANSWERS it! Big No No! He goes on to have a 5 or so minute convo, telling the person on the other line, “Oh, I’m gonna be done here (on the date) in about 10 minutes. Read more
Law Lady & One Missed Call: Kelly’s Stories
Online dating these days is nothing like it used to be. The paid dating sites–in order of easiest way to get a hookup–used to go, circa 2008: Yahoo! Dating, Match.com…(a few more)…eHarmony.com. This was partially determined by price per month, but also reputation.
Jump to 2011: There are probably hundreds of dating sites, many of them free. And, the more free they are, well, expect the standards to be well, more moral-free. Expect to get “invited to house parties”, for a guy to want the first date to be “watching a video”, or, for a “proposition over text” within the first 5 texts. It’s really not awesome.
The other night, I went on an “It’s Just Drinks” (formerly, It’s Just Lunch, if they were honest with consumers) date. They cost in the thousands, and have yet to prove THAT amazing, but, at least people still have common courtesy (and they do background checks, I think?).
So, there was friendly chemistry between me and new contact, BadDates Kelly. He had plenty to say about some of the bad girls of Dallas. Ready to hear it? Read more
The Perfect Host: The ONLY Movie You NEED to See (For Now)!
Ahh, summer. Nothing makes me want to head to the movies more than some hot, hot heat. The problem is, the last good stuff came in May, and it’s “outlook not so good” until July.
So, I flipped on the TV to OnDemand, and did a little clicking, and I hit on “Early Screening”. And, there it was: “The Perfect Host”. Now, the title struck me as a Korean Horror film, but, other than that, well, take a look at the preview…
It looks fun, right? Fun…for all the wrong reasons. And, that is exactly what transpires, during the 90-ish minutes. It’s a tete-a-tete between two men, who are really a lot more than they say they are (but who isn’t, these days?). Every character is at least two-dimensional, even the supporting roles, such as the dinner guests.
Twists and moral turns abound, as power shifts from one side to the other. The preview seems to give everything away, but, oh no! There’s more. It seems so simple that two men, on opposite sides, could just go at each other, until one loses, eventually. It reminded me immediately of Polanski’s “Death and the Maiden”, reimagined as a comedy.
But, the power of the pen wins here! Writer/director Nick Tomnay has taken care to find two actors, David Hyde Pierce and Clayne Crawford, who have decent man chemistry, and, has given them plenty of things in common to get at each other, in a rather insidious, but not super-cruel way. I’ll leave that at that, to maintain the mystery. Read more
Top 12 Dating Tips for Guys in Uptown Dallas
What To Do (to be memorable):
1. Tell, Teach, and Learn a Kinda-Dirty Joke:
When on a dancing date, whether she’s teaching you “how to Dougie” or “do the cha cha”, you can always hold her hips (if she let’s you), swing her from left to right, and then tell her that now she knows how to “swing both ways”.
2. Do the Cuddle
Really. If she says “I want to bring you upstairs and cuddle…” It means, CUDDLE. Not sex, cuddle. It’s a trust builder, and if you want to see her again, you’ll respect her wishes. If you are too drunk to begin with, you won’t get the invite, so, I guess, nevermind. Cuddling is so now. Not that I’m on that train, but it’s big with the next generation.
3. Be Agreeable, Don’t Talk About Your Ex(es)!
Or religion, or politics, if you are on a polar end. In that case, nod and smile. Then, come up with a less-radical stance on everything before you leave your cave again.
And now…WHAT NOT TO DO IN UPTOWN Read more
Movie Reviews: The Big Bang & Hangover: Part II
This post might have been better titled “The Big Bangkok”.
These are two of my movies from the first post of “movies generating heat”. And, as far as heat, only one generates. More like, a slow burn. So, let’s get to it.
By now, you’ve heard that “Hangover: Part II” is really just “The Hangover: Bangkok”, only, minus any surprises and genius that the first had. Which reminds me of this. Only, without the camp factor. Which is a shame.
Oh, and there is no Wolfpack. It’s a figment in Zach Galifianakis’s pretty little mind. Bradley Cooper insists on YELLING every line he has. Ed Helms is bored (and, aptly, compared to limp, wet rice), and Justin Bartha is stranded on an island with a cell phone. This time around, the guys have lost an underage college prodigy, and they chase crappy leads for 90/112 minutes (leaving a 10 minute opener, 10 to close, and 2 for the outtake reel). Save your money. All of it. I was caught nodding off. It’ll hit #1, with a 50% drop off in week 2, like all pretty crappy sequels.
Onto something with more “Bang”…”The Big Bang”. I have to say, I was pleasantly surprised to find it in Redbox, rather than paying full price at a cinema, or even $5 OnDemand. Read more
Food Porn: Vegas, Day 4
After getting so many hits on my Ron Jeremy post, I thought, I may be able to attract visitors by using the “P-word”, may be worth risking the blog’s PG-rating.
So, Mandalay Bay, Party of 1. Hubert Keller’s Fleur. I try to make it out to a “restaurant experience” 1-2 times per year. And this was no exception. For those who are not as epicurious, think $15-20 Tapas plates. Ingredients so fresh, you’d swear they were grown in the kitchen, or fished out of an ocean before they hit the plate.
Start with the Foie Gras on Brioche. Foie tastes like the richest, butter-textured, salty, thick deliciousness. Pair it with huckleberry gelee, and you may as well purr.
Go next to Hamachi with pickled Shitake mushrooms and a soy-ginger foam. Surprisingly, the mushrooms were the star of the dish. Paired with the foam, the fish was tasty and odorless, as all fresh fish should be.
The Duck and fresh spinach with spinach puree and chipolini onion was more a beautiful art presentation than a memorable meal. Granted, the duck really needed nothing, but was better with the puree.
And, now, the magical oysters with margarita sorbet and a citrus squeeze! The picture above shows the dry-ice-producing smoke that teems from the side of the rectangular plate. Even the waitress advised, “Get your camera phone out–this one’s awesome!”
The denouement was an almond panna cotta with berries and chilli-spiced granola. Either it was over-frozen, or, my educated palate tasted almond-spiced berry “Icee”. So, not the thrill of the night. Read more
You Got Those Beads Where?: Vegas Day 3
Actually, they are Kona Beads that, uh, came, from Hawaii, sold to me by Come-on-I-Wanna-Lay-Ya & I’d-Really-Like-To-Poke-Ya, two beautiful women in Vegas. Treasures at Treasure Island, now calling itself “TI”, btw.
Either way, the luckiest casino for craps, hands down. And, it had a Starbucks, which makes all the difference–a comfy reminder of home.
It was the Grandmother’s 80th, so, a good reason to celebrate with a few glasses of Merlot. But, even better, a run-in with a few just-marrieds beaming with the look of love. Matching white fedoras and all. Read more
Rags to Riches–Vegas: Day 2
First Off, Last Night: A Good Date in Vegas! Even though I didn’t get to look at my craps cheat sheet, I had a guy next to me at the table, from Los Angeles, help me out. Not a guy who worked there, but another player. He said, “Don’t be so conservative with your betting! Once you win, hit a bit more–then I won!” If not for this other cold roller on my opposite side, I woulda been up at the end. Alas.
Booker probably wasn’t thinking about money when he identified “Rags to Riches”. However, I am. We keep it simple here at Baddates. And, I intend to be up at the end of the vacation. So, ongoing goal! Read more
Overcoming the Monster & The Quest: Two For One
First off–above–a treat, for my readers, of what I found on our way to Vegas, somewhere near Flagstaff, AZ. I loves me some hard-core chintzy Americana. I hope you like the pictures I took for you, too.
So, we’re on the way to Vegas. The obvious choice would be Voyage and Return, but, as always, Baddates is not obvious, nor do I make the obvious–nor necessarily rational–choices. Let’s book it to Booker (if this doesn’t make sense, read the previous–slightly rambly–post). Read more
Booker, Jung, and…LaceyB?: A Road Trip to Vegas!
It’s 2 a.m. on Saturday, and all’s quiet on the Plano front. I’m doing a little research before making my journey out West to the city of Sin, but, my mapping is more of the character-plot kind. My life is extraordinary, what can I say?
See, it isn’t a solo mission. It’s a three-generation attack on the place where the King used to be is still King. I was there about 5 years ago. My parents were last there when they served $.99 steaks 24-7. As for the grandmother? Not even sure she’s heard that slots are coinless, now.
So, road trip…potential generational conflict…family craziness…gambling…add alcohol…sound read-able? Maybe, even, watchable?
That’s what Christopher Booker (he of the Booker Prize) thought. He took over 34 years deriving what have become 7 basic storylines used in movies and many college essays today. Initially, I thought, it was Mark Twain, but, no! Give credit where credit is due.
Thus, here are Booker’s 7 Brilliant Threads in Art: Read more
Bein’ “Kids”
OK, so I’ve been ignoring my blog. But, got quite the stuff for you BadDaters, including, but not limited to, a fall off the mechanical bull next-door pre-ride. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves.
This Cinco de Drinko, we started at MiCocina, which involved flirting with some semi-douche just to get the bartender’s attention for the 2nd round of Mambo Taxis. That took 20 min. I asked him, “Which important person would be throwing out the first pitch during the Yankees-Rangers opener tomorrow today?” His Reply: George Bush. Me: I said, “Important, not Interwebs.” Here’s the answer. After gulping down said drinks, we just left.
Next stop: Bull time. Read more
Frosted Flakes
These “Frosted Flakes” are not great. See, there’s something to be said about when friends are fresh, and then they get all soggy, like slightly spoiled milk, when they move out of Dallas.
What I’ve learned about Dallas is this: Either you have lived here your whole life, and never intend to leave (except for a move to the suburbs), or, it’s only a stop-over in the Game of Life.
And, these ladies, well, that’s what this was for them. It was gonna happen. But, here’s the thing… Read more
On Dating, Statistically Speaking
First off, I’m a math brain, so, that’s why this is here. Dating can be statistically proven, even without actual, statistics tests. Allow me to explain…
Anyone actually remember Statistics, other than it was that last weasely math you had to pass before you received your Bachelor’s? No takers? Well, then, let’s jump right in. Because, math is awesome, and can predict dating patterns–I swear!
The picture above is called the normal distribution curve. If you take a number of test subjects, testing anything, there will be a certain popular amount (the highest point in the curve, called “the mean” or “mu”).
Then, there will be a bunch that are 68% away from that number (34% positively and negatively), but still under the curve. We call that 1 standard deviation (one standard deviation from the norm). Sounds kinky, no? It just means, you, the data point, fall within 68% of the popular amount of 3 bedroom home-owning-2 kids-1 cat. So…you have a 2 bedroom apartment rental-no kids-1 knockout vinyl playing music system. You are 34% in the positive direction, trust me!
Now, walk another standard deviation away (in either direction) from the norm (2 s.d.’s–NOT s.t.ds!). You, the data point, are within 95% of the normal, everyday point. You’re special! You own your 2 bedroom loft (in the city)-your 1 kid has an address in a pocket in Dallas that allows him to attend Highland Park SD-and, you have a Cesar-trained mini-beagle. Go you!
S-t-r-e-t-c-h to a 3rd standard deviation. This means that you are now within 99.7% of the normal, average, everyday Joe, when it comes to passing the SAT. You are Mr. Facebook, when it comes to standardized tests. REALLY SPECIAL! In fact, you’re (ex) Mayor Tom, who comes to Dallas, rules the land, makes huge mistakes, peaces out, and still has meelions to run for Senate.
Remind me what this ugly statistical math crap has to do with dating, again! Read more
10 (More) Movies to Help You Beat the Heat (July and August)
Again, going on release dates, per Entertainment Weekly. Check local listings, where available. I recommend OnDemand, as it is highly cheaper for two to view a stinker between $6.99-$10.99 per couple (or threesome), than to pay individually at the cinema. But, that’s your business. Read more
